Are you well?

Wellbeing is 'the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy'. It's a generic term for the condition where the social, financial, psychological, spiritual or medical state. This usually means that individual's condition is positive and very high.

When someone says, 'I am well' this could be an indication that they really are well but on the other hands, is it the actual truth?

Do you have perfect wellbeing? Can you honestly say that you are happy? Can you honestly say that you are in a good place right now?

Throughout your life, you will go through times where you may feel well physically but emotionally, you feel shipwrecked. There will be times where you will feel financially well but socially you're not well in that area. For one to really achieve positive wellbeing, all the different areas must be well balanced.

Over the next few weeks, we will be looking at Wellbeing in several key areas. The first one is Physical............

If you have ever woke up in the morning and you feel tired, low of energy or no general interest in getting up, there could be a possibility that your body is not in a good condition. So, how can you ensure that your body is in a top condition? You can take up exercise, you can start a diet or you can just make changes to your lifestyle. There may also be a medical reason why you feel so burnt out at times so it's very wise to see your doctor so you can see if there any underlying causes.

There are different stages to attaining physical health, what's needed is maintaining regular exercise, maintaining a healthy diet and the most important part, relaxation. Relaxation is something that we fail to add as part of our lifestyle. If perfect wellbeing is to be realised, then we must learn to relax and have proper rest.

Our next part will be on Emotional wellbeing. Stay tuned

Behaviour - Is it learnt or are we born with it?

"Some behaviours have to be taught before you do them. These are learned behaviours. You aren't born knowing how to respond in a classroom when a teacher asks a question. Raising your hand and waiting to be called on is something you learn from your interaction with the world. Learned behaviours include things like speaking in a specific language (for example, English or Spanish) or how you should eat in a restaurant. If you weren't taught these things through your environment and experiences, you would not know how to do them." - Study.com

For some time now I've been thinking about behaviour and two concepts - Innate behaviour and learned behaviour.

When each of us was born, we were born with certain needs such as love, warmth, joy, happiness. But then what about speaking, eating, walking? All of this is done through what we see.

If we know that, when we see people acting like us, we should ask ourselves one key question - What type of example am I setting? The children of today have learnt everything from what they see and observe and I am sure that most of what we do, we have either picked it up from our parents or those that we hang around.

So, the next question is this - The behaviour that we have learnt, can we unlearn them? Beforehand, I thought that this wasn't possible but now my belief has changed. Behaviour can be learnt and unlearnt. The way we can unlearn certain behaviours is to change our environment and the people that we are associated with.

Everything we say or do is governed by what we see people do and what they say. In positions of leadership and management, we need to be careful of our actions and how we come across. People learn from us and this is why we need to ensure our behaviour influences them in a good way

Let's influence people in a positive way.

#openthoughts - Play it safe

it's wiser to be cautious and careful than to be hasty or rash and so do something you may later regret

So, I was riding home on the 205 bus, a thought well it's more something my mum always said to me when I was young. 

'It's better to be safe than sorry' 

Back then, I never really understood why she said that. I honestly thought it was just a cliche but years later, the reality of it hit me for six. Yes, years later and I have finally understood why she said it. 

The phrase which I can relate it to is this one - 'Obedience is better than sacrifice'........... Let me explain why

There was a time when I had learned of someone's death and so I asked why it happened. I was informed that the person was involved in an accident and then it was said that the person wasn't wearing a seatbelt at the time which contributed to their death. At the time my first reaction was one of shock and then one of sympathy. 

When you get into a car, your first initial reaction would be to make sure your safe before you start moving and that would include wearing a seatbelt. I wonder sometimes that if the person had worn their seatbelt, might they of survived the ordeal? 

It's one of those situations where following instructions would be much easier than dealing with the aftermath, We live in a society where people are told to break rules and to live life on the edge and truth be told, it hasn't done them the world of good. 

There are times in life that we just have to take the word and live by it. It really is better to be safe than sorry. 

Instructions, Commands and Guidelines are there for a reason. Let's adhere to them and be safe. 

You don't want to have to apologise to someone for causing injury or harm to their loved ones. Do all you can to make sure you are safe and that everyone is safe. 

All around you, people will tell you to do things that go against what it says on the tin. You, personally, you must do what it says on the tin and get it right. 

Be wise, Be Safe and Stop living life on the edge. 

Love ya'll greatly

#openthoughts - Don't look back

'Stop looking back, look to the future'

For some time now, I've been coasting through life moving with God and following his plan for my life. There came a time when I was told this -  "Stop looking behind you, look to the front because that is where you are heading"

The old job, ex-partner, the old house, old habits............ When the going gets tough, it can sometimes be so much easier to just go back to what we know that looking ahead and going into the unknown. It's a common thing nowadays, you're looking for a job and you somehow find yourself back in the job you left some years ago. One reason is that we haven't really let go of the past, we are still looking back at it which is why we never take hold of what's to come in our future.

"Lot's wife looked back and she became a pillar of salt" - Genesis 19. As I looked at the passage alone, I froze. Lot's failed to head into the future because she looked back. She looked back at Sodom and Gomorrah and as such, she was turned into salt. She became a distant memory

As I was pondering on this, the analogy I received was this.
A house is on fire, it is literally burning down. You've gone outside but the pain of losing the house and everything inside it is too much so you decide to go back in even though everyone is telling you not to. You decide to go in but you don't make it out alive. You've been burned into ashes.

We all have problems with moving on. We just can't forget the past, it's hurt us so much that we are not ready to move on but today God is saying - "Stop looking back, look to the future"
The person may of hurt you real bad, the person may have broken you in pieces but you can't allow that to stop you from moving on. By all means, confront what's holding you back but don't stay there. Deal with it and go. You in charge of your destiny.
Look to the future...............

Ask yourself these questions - Does it have a hold over me? Am I ready to let go? Am I ready to leave the past behind?

Normally, I would prepare my blog pieces but it's been in my spirit these past few days to just write and write and just share my thoughts. As you read, I pray that you find strength and courage to take that first step and move towards the future.

#Openthoughts - Time: Use it or Lose it

It only feels like we had just entered January and skipped to February. That literally is how fast the year has gone already, it's just ticked away right before our own eyes. Do you feel like you need more time? Do you wish you had more time?

Think of it this way - You are sitting in an exam, on the paper, it says that you have 2 hours. Everybody has the same 2 hours, no more and no less. One person uses time well and answers all the questions but the other person just sits there figuring out what to do. All of a sudden the invigilator says "Time up". Both of you had the same 2 hours but one used time and one wasted time. On exam results day, it was evident to see. Do you want to be the person who uses the time to their advantage or do you want to be the person who sees time tick by?

When I was young, I had this precept that I could wait and do things the next day. It was like that for a while until I met one of my associates who said this to me - "Time waits for no man, Time doesn't respect anyone, it just goes tic toc. What you do with it is down to you"
I will admit, they were some wise words indeed, they have been lodged in my memory up until now.

All of us can't complain that we don't have enough time, in fact, we have 24 hours in a day every day of the week. The only thing is what do we do with it? If you asked someone what they do with their time, this will indicate why they say 'If I only had another hour or if the day could be extended'.
How do you view time? Can you manage your time well?

I want to introduce a time management tool which will help greatly

Above is the Eisenhower matrix. It helps us identify and structure our time a lot better. When I was first introduced to this concept I found out that there are things that I do which were time-consuming, they weren't beneficial for me so I cut them out and I found that I had more time than I thought. Try it out for yourself. You will be amazed at the results. 

There are some things in life that we have to do and there are some things that we don't have to do. In between that, some balance is needed. Ask yourself this question - Do I really need to do it? I did this once and it changed my life

Time is one of our greatest investments. When you invest in yourself and spend time investing in you, you will reap the benefits. Let's start investing time into something worthwhile.

Let's stop regretting the time we have wasted. We can't get it back

Time is precious, Time is our greatest resource. 

Time.......................

'Do Today what others won't do tomorrow'

#Openthoughts - There is room for everyone

Each and every day, people will rush about trying to fit in or even push people out the way so they can have space. It's a sorry sight, it's also very dangerous as people can get hurt in the process.
Trying to rush about will only delay your journey. Relax, be still, be at peace because there is room for everyone.

If you picture a typical train journey in the morning, you will see a mass of people either walking to work, getting the bus or train, taking children to school or just going from A-B. 9 times out of 10, they will all be worried about how they will get there henceforth why many people try to push past people but will find that they will end up being late and missing out.

Life will bring many demands which we will have to meet but we can negotiate those demands by being calm. Not everyone will have that same mindset but you can dictate how you react by realizing that your time will come. There will be a time when the train will be empty, when you will get a seat on the bus and when the roads are less busier than usual.

Having the 'there is room for me' mindset will ensure that you don't conform to society and the ways of the world. Failure to have this mindset will only result in frustration and then lead to the point where you copy how others react and what others do.

The key to breaking this habit is to know your identity and be confident in yourself. Be confident in what you have to offer and the impact that it will bring. You also need to know that you are unique and that you have something different. Only then will others realize that there will room for everyone to operate.

It's very possible for two strikers to play together, it's very possible for two left footers to play in one team and it is very possible for two captains to be on the pitch at the same time. Be yourself, be good to others, don't rush around and you will be able to breathe properly.

When I was young, I always thought that to be accepted by society I had to be like certain people so I can reach the top. So, that meant me trying to become a footballer or wanting to make music. Oh, how wrong was I............ I failed spectacularly but when I walked down the path of being a writer and also security I soon found out that I could walk a different path and still get to the top. This was an important lesson and one that I will never forget.

There's something a wise man used to say to me and my friends when growing up which was "You will eat, there is enough food for everyone to eat, be patient"

You will get your food and you will have enough to share with people around you. Be calm, wait your turn. There is room for me and you, There is room for everyone.

#openthoughts - Change

Change is necessary, change is needed but what do you do when you lack the ability to change?

Let's look at what the word change means -

To give a completely different form or appearance to; transform
To undergo transformation or transition:

There are plenty more versions but we like these two specifically. Reason being is that when there is a change, you will notice it. It will be visible for all to see.
When we say that we are going to change, there should normally be a visible transformation but let's address why sometimes it may not happen.

One of the reasons is down to your mindset. Yes, everyone thinks you can just embark on a journey and expect your mind and body to adjust to it straight away. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that, you must first train your mind and let it adjust to the changes but sometimes you won't get a chance, you will have to adjust. How do you train your mind? You can speak to your mind, tell it good thoughts, repeat the changes that are set to come into effect and most importantly give yourself time.

There are instances where change takes place such as - Changing schools, moving houses, starting a new job, deciding to become more healthier.
In these instances it will be common that you won't like the change but once you become consistent and you become comfortable with it, the change won't actually affect you.
When you was at school and you moved into a new year, you were forced to change and adjust to the new year. Change is never meant to be easy but the process can be calm if we allow it to be.

Change doesn't change overnight, it takes place over a period of time. Don't get upset if you don't see a change straight away, keep doing what you are doing and you will soon start to see changes.
Once you have planted the seed or the idea, it takes a process or you can call it the watering stage or even the hibernation period. During that time, is when the change starts to take place and only when it's finished is when you will see a visible change.

Some destinies are short, some dreams are dismissed because of the inability to wait for change. To see change, you need patience, you need to give it time. Because you can't see a visible change, this doesn't mean that change is taking place.
Change will always start from within before it effects the outer appearance.

Do you have the ability to change? Are you prepared to allow the change to take place?

I pray you are blessed by this and may you see the change that you desire in your life

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Over the past few weeks, I have begun to love myself again. It's not easy when you have people constantly telling you how short/tall you are, how big/tall you are, what you wear isn't acceptable. During that time, it can be possible to fall out of love with yourself.

In that time, I have decided to bring myself back to the place where I can love myself again, I have been meditating on these particular scriptures - Psalm 139:13-14 ' For you did form my inward parts; you did knit me together in my mother's womb. I will confess and praise you for you are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are your works, and that my inner self knows right well'

Looking at this scripture gives me so much life, I am reminded that even before I was born God had knitted me together, he was the one who formed me in mother's womb.
It's almost been a year since I decided to change my life, not because of what people was telling me about my weight but because I wanted to make a change, I started the journey of self love because to be honest, I couldn't see how beautiful I was but now I know that God loves me and that I should learn how to love myself. I won't pretend and tell you that this journey has been easy because it hasn't, there are still days that I question whether all this is really worth it and there are days I feel on top of the world.

When you compare yourself to others, it's known that you will be depressed with the way you look and will do anything to look like them. I have been in that place thinking to myself why don't I look like someone else. It was then that I realised that I am not like them, I can never be like them. It was at that point I gave up trying to look like other people and decided to focus on myself for a change. I started to buy myself clothes, treat myself to fresh haircuts and everything else that comes with it. I even booked nights away where I could reconnect with myself.

If you are struggling with confidence, with issues relating to image, just know that you are not alone. There are many people out there who go through the same issues and there are many people who have overcome that fear.
Love yourself well. Love your perfections and imperfections, love everything about you.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made, You are beautiful, You are unique, You are original.
There can only ever be one of you.